Cocktails 4 oz Chardonnay white wine
2 oz banana liqueur
1 oz Absolut® vodka
1 cherry
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Little
Mary was not the best
student in Sunday School. Usually she slept
through the class. One
day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me,
Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny,
an altruistic boy seated in the
chair behind her, took a pin and
jabbed her in the rear. "God
Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher
said, "Very good," and Mary fell
back asleep.
A while later the
teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior,"
but Mary didn't
even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to
the rescue,
and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and
the teacher
said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked
Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her
twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn th
ing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
What do you get if you cross a student and an
alien ?
Something from another universe -ity !
Little Mary was not the best
student in
Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day
the teacher
called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who
created
the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic
boy seated in the
chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the
rear. "God
Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very
good," and Mary fell
back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked
Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior,"
but Mary didn't even stir from
her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to
the rescue, and stuck her
again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and
the teacher said, "Very
good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third
question. "What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her twenty-third
child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin. This time Mary
jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn thing in me one m
ore time, I'll break it in half!"
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. George Orwell
Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. George Eliot
Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them Voltaire