Cocktails 120 ml vodka
20 ml gin
60 ml Champagne
50 ml soda water
25 ml orange juice (with pulp)
20 ml lemon juice
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Four corporate presidents, one
English,
one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to
an
international business conference when they were kidnapped by
terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.
"You, your companies, and
you countries are enemies of the
Revolution," screamed the terrorist
leader, "and you're going to be executed!
Do you have any last
requests?"
The Englishman spoke first.
"Before I die, I want
to honor my country and protest this barbaric
act by singing "God
Save The Queen" to all you men."
"That can be arranged," said the
terrorist.
The Frenchman said, "And I want to honor my country
before I die by
singing "The Marseilles" to your men."
The
Japanese said, "Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving
the lecture I was going to present on the Mapanese style of industrial
management."
The terrorist turned finally to the America
n.
"What is your last request?"
The American replied, "I
want you to kill me right now so I don't
have to listen to another
lecture on the Japanese style of industrial
management!"
Q: What changes would occur in your
lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be
forced to drive unlawfully.
What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The
cowlick!
"Do you know what a pessimist is?" "A man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it." George Bernard Shaw
"How long does getting thin take?" Pooh asked anxiously. A. A. Milne
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
"Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice." Terry Pratchett