Cocktails 1 oz Firewater® cinnamon schnapps
1 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
4 1/2 oz cola
Start
Life
Science
City
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see
his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at
night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the
problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find
it."
A box of crayons and a big sheet of paper provides a more expressive medium for kids than computerized paint programs. Clifford Stoll
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Ludwig Erhard
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. Ring Lardner