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Why do University of
Arkansas graduates
tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?
So they can park
in handicapped spaces.
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the
other day, a
passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was
kept lit during the
whole journey although the flight was a
particularly smooth one.
Just before landing, he asked the stewardess
about it.
"Well," she explained, "up front there are 17
University of
California girls going to Los Angeles for the
weekend.
"In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you
do?"
A math student who used to come to the
university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where
did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a
`thank
you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've
been
tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well",
he
starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that
she had
passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to
thank me in
person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her
bicycle. But when I had
let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes
off, lay down on my bed,
smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me
whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a
really smart choice when you
took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend
adds, "just imagine how
silly you would have looked in a girl's
clothes - and they wouldn't have
fit you anyway!"
At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. Jean Houston
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... Carl Zwanzig
Einstein said God doesn't play dice with the universe, but I don't know--maybe not as a whole, but I think he gets a pretty big kick out of messing in peoples' back yards. Dennis Koenig and Jordan Budde