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The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once
a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant
gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with
its
tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked.
"If I
told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
Mandy: Our teacher went on a
special banana
diet.
Andy: Did she lose weight?
Mandy: No, but she sure could
climb trees well!
Two biologists are in the field following the
tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear
crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up
the
nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after
them. The
first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking
boots and pulls
a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack.
The second biologist
gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the
world are you doing?"
He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close
to us, we'll jump down
and make a run for it."
The second
guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can't outrun a
full-grown grizzly bear."
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun
the bear, I only have to
outrun you!"
I think the primary function of radio is that people want company. Elise Nordling
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson
If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. Matt Groening