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1/2 oz white creme de menthe
1 oz Irish whiskey
1/2 oz white creme de cacao
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Mandy: Our teacher went on a
special banana
diet.
Andy: Did she lose weight?
Mandy: No, but she sure could
climb trees well!
"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle
your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym
teacher.
"Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy."
"I'm freewheeling, sir."
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and
asked his
mother, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the
slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought
you to us."
"Oh," said
the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought
us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy
persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by
now
starting to squirm a little.
Several days later, the boy
handed in his paper to the teacher who read
with confusion the
opening sentence: "This report has been very
difficult to write due to
the fact that there hasn't been a natural
childbirth in my family
for three generations."
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
"Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice." Terry Pratchett
A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project. Abigail Van Buren
A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers. Chinese Proverb