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Mandy: Our teacher went on a
special banana
diet.
Andy: Did she lose weight?
Mandy: No, but she sure could
climb trees well!
"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle
your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym
teacher.
"Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy."
"I'm freewheeling, sir."
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and
asked his
mother, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the
slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought
you to us."
"Oh," said
the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought
us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy
persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by
now
starting to squirm a little.
Several days later, the boy
handed in his paper to the teacher who read
with confusion the
opening sentence: "This report has been very
difficult to write due to
the fact that there hasn't been a natural
childbirth in my family
for three generations."
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog. Jack London
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. Robert Benchley
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Josh BillingsRobot Tidies Up a Room: DNews Nuggets
Set this robot to work and your place will be tidied with (nearly) everything in its place.
Why We Don't Need the 'Men In Black'
'Protecting the Earth from the scum of the Universe' isn't so hard when you've got the Fermi Paradox on your side.
Want to Lose Weight? Skip These Diets
Potentially dangerous crash diets won't help you lose those extra pounds ahead of the bathing suit season.
The New Yorker Serial Tweets Story: DNews Nuggets
The story, by Jennifer Egan, is organized in short segments.
A Dolphin Death Whodunit In Peru
The Peruvian government claims that nearly 900 dolphins died of natural causes. A separate study disagrees.