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Mandy: Our teacher went on a
special banana
diet.
Andy: Did she lose weight?
Mandy: No, but she sure could
climb trees well!
"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle
your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym
teacher.
"Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy."
"I'm freewheeling, sir."
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and
asked his
mother, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the
slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought
you to us."
"Oh," said
the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought
us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy
persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by
now
starting to squirm a little.
Several days later, the boy
handed in his paper to the teacher who read
with confusion the
opening sentence: "This report has been very
difficult to write due to
the fact that there hasn't been a natural
childbirth in my family
for three generations."
. . . .When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer - say traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep - it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best, and most abundantly. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
[Common sense] is the best sense I know of. Lord Chesterfield
A contented mind is the best source for trouble. Titus Maccius PlautusThe New Yorker Serial Tweets Story: DNews Nuggets
The story, by Jennifer Egan, is organized in short segments.
A Dolphin Death Whodunit In Peru
The Peruvian government claims that nearly 900 dolphins died of natural causes. A separate study disagrees.
Mars Tumbleweed Rovers Will Rock, Bounce and Roll
The tumbleweed rover could dominate Mars exploration, but is there too much bounce in its roll?
Were the Cavemen of the Danube Flutists?
Bone flutes found in southern Germany push back the date human creativity evolved.
Special Effects Getting Crazy: Gotta-See Videos
In the new Men in black movie the special effects are eye-popping, literally.