Cocktails 1 1/2 oz Absolut® Citron vodka
1 1/4 oz triple sec
3/4 oz lemon juice
sugar
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Life
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A certain little girl, when asked
her
name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother
told
her this was wrong, she must say,"I'm Janey Sugarbrown."
The
Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,"Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?"
With her mother standing just a few feet
away, the little girl replied,
"I thought I was, but Mommy says I'm
not."
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his
fellow
inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good
person and made
arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his
time. After
three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best
carpenters in the local
area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to
do odd jobs for the
citizens of the community.... and he always
reported back to prison before
Sunday night was over.
The
warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done
much
of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of
kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife.
So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job
for
him.
But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh,
I'd really like
to help you but counter fitting is what got
me into prison in the first
place".
A prisoner at
the Edmonton Max started
training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of
hours, he worked with the insect. It
learned to walk across a miniature
high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike,
balance on a pair of stilts
and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
"When you and I get
out of here," the jailbird said to the fly.
"we're going to tour
the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived. Fly
safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside
its matchbox home), the
ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he
brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started
moonwalking. "What about
this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.
In one swift motion, the
bartender reached for his copy of the
newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN,
rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty
swipe.
"Glad
you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are
eve
rywhere."
...And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. So I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Martin Luther King Jr.
...people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right. J. K. Rowling
[Television is] the triumph of machine over people. Fred AllenThe New Yorker Serial Tweets Story: DNews Nuggets
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