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Life
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The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once
a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant
gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with
its
tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked.
"If I
told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and
his Personal
Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a
beautiful young girl
who will want to know everything about
you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a
party?"
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her
eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being,
asks
sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde
replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother
had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't
you go home for the
day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the
day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains,
"No, I'd be better off here. I need
to keep my mind off it and I
have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and
allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need
anything, just let me
know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check
on the blonde. He looks
out over his office and sees the blonde
crying hysterically. He rushes
out to her, and asks, "Are you going to
be okay? Is there anything I
can do to help?"
"No," re
plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she
said
that HER mom died too!"
"Do you know what a pessimist is?" "A man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it." George Bernard Shaw
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands e e cummings
...And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. So I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Martin Luther King Jr.The New Yorker Serial Tweets Story: DNews Nuggets
The story, by Jennifer Egan, is organized in short segments.
A Dolphin Death Whodunit In Peru
The Peruvian government claims that nearly 900 dolphins died of natural causes. A separate study disagrees.
Mars Tumbleweed Rovers Will Rock, Bounce and Roll
The tumbleweed rover could dominate Mars exploration, but is there too much bounce in its roll?
Were the Cavemen of the Danube Flutists?
Bone flutes found in southern Germany push back the date human creativity evolved.
Special Effects Getting Crazy: Gotta-See Videos
In the new Men in black movie the special effects are eye-popping, literally.