Other Drinks 1 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1 oz Jose Cuervo® 1800 tequila
1 can chilled Bud Light® lager
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Life
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A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
As a
senior citizen was driving down
the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering,
he heard his wife's
voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard
on the news that
there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate.
Please be
careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's
hundreds of
them!"
A prisoner at
the Edmonton Max started
training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of
hours, he worked with the insect. It
learned to walk across a miniature
high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike,
balance on a pair of stilts
and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
"When you and I get
out of here," the jailbird said to the fly.
"we're going to tour
the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived. Fly
safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside
its matchbox home), the
ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he
brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started
moonwalking. "What about
this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.
In one swift motion, the
bartender reached for his copy of the
newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN,
rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty
swipe.
"Glad
you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are
eve
rywhere."
A sense of curiosity is nature's original school of education. Dr. Smiley Blanton
Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no s R. Buckminster Fuller
Grammar school never taught me anything about grammar. Isaac GoldbergThe New Yorker Serial Tweets Story: DNews Nuggets
The story, by Jennifer Egan, is organized in short segments.
A Dolphin Death Whodunit In Peru
The Peruvian government claims that nearly 900 dolphins died of natural causes. A separate study disagrees.
Mars Tumbleweed Rovers Will Rock, Bounce and Roll
The tumbleweed rover could dominate Mars exploration, but is there too much bounce in its roll?
Were the Cavemen of the Danube Flutists?
Bone flutes found in southern Germany push back the date human creativity evolved.
Special Effects Getting Crazy: Gotta-See Videos
In the new Men in black movie the special effects are eye-popping, literally.