Punches 8 oz can Red Bull® energy drink
1 1/2 oz cognac
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Life
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row
prisoners? Why
would you care if a man you're planning to kill
anyway, kills himself?
Does it spoil the fun?
I also think
about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day
before his
execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a
hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed
him.
Apparently, just to anger him.
Andy: "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last
night. I
dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus
girls in the
world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a
row."
Doctor: "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."
Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl from the end."
A pretty woman is a welcome guest. Lord Byron
A quotation, like a pun, should come unsought, and then be welcomed only for some propriety of felicity justifying the intrusion. Robert Chapman
Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them VoltaireDevice May Let Humans Communicate With Dolphins
A prototype dolphin speaker projects the full range of all dolphin-made sounds.
The Unibomber Updates Status: DNews Nuggets
Ted Kaczynski lists his most recent occupation as "prisoner" in a Harvard alumni directory.
Quake Reveals Day of Jesus' Crucifixion
It's been debated for years, but researchers say they now have a definitive date of the crucifixion.
The 'Demise of Guys' Likely Real: DNews Nuggets
Are the world's men being destroyed by online pornography and video games?
Toddler Braves Rush Hour: Gotta-See Videos
A toddler takes a dangerous ride through a busy intersection at rush hour, on his own scooter.