Cocktails 1 1/2 oz Scotch whisky
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
1/2 oz dry vermouth
2 dashes bitters
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Tech Support: "Which format are the images you
send?"
Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."
My new baby is the image of his father.
Never
mind. just so long as he's healthy.
Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image
of his father
Never mind just so long as he's healthy!
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen
And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of. William Shakespeare
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. Emo PhillipsLighting Rod Prevents Strikes
This rod prevents strikes by doing exactly the opposite of what they are usually known for.
Hologram Lady Will Greet You at the Airport
A weird customer service hologram is coming to New York City airports.
Pollutants Mucking With Food Production
Two manmade pollutants known best as threats to human health have just been charged with two more offenses: shifting rainfall patterns and mucking with food production.
Starships Fueled on Antimatter from Space?
Harvesting antimatter in space would completely bypass the difficulties of an Earth-bound particle accelerator.
Cement Yourself With Concrete Business Cards
Give your first impression a little more gravity by handing one of these babies out.