Non-Alcoholic 2 oz carrot juice
1 oz orange juice
1 dash grenadine syrup
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Tech Support: "Which format are the images you
send?"
Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."
My new baby is the image of his father.
Never
mind. just so long as he's healthy.
Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image
of his father
Never mind just so long as he's healthy!
I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues. Duke Ellington
I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind... At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme, I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get Robertson Davies
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you! Tommy SmothersLighting Rod Prevents Strikes
This rod prevents strikes by doing exactly the opposite of what they are usually known for.
Hologram Lady Will Greet You at the Airport
A weird customer service hologram is coming to New York City airports.
Pollutants Mucking With Food Production
Two manmade pollutants known best as threats to human health have just been charged with two more offenses: shifting rainfall patterns and mucking with food production.
Starships Fueled on Antimatter from Space?
Harvesting antimatter in space would completely bypass the difficulties of an Earth-bound particle accelerator.
Cement Yourself With Concrete Business Cards
Give your first impression a little more gravity by handing one of these babies out.