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A young ventriloquist is touring the
clubs
and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in
Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual
dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her
chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid
blonde
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as
a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from
being respected at work
and in the community and from reaching our full
potential as a person,
because you and your kind continue to
perpetuate discrimination
against, not only blondes, but women in
general...and all in the name of
humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed
and begins to apologize, when the
blonde yells, "You stay out of
this, mister! I'm talking to that
little idiot on your knee!"
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was
about to be
executed.
"Have you any last requests? asked the
chaplain.
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my
hand?"
Two men,
sentenced to die in the electric
chair on the same day were led down to
the room in which they would
meet their maker. The priest had given the
last rites, the formal
speech had been given by the warden, and a final
prayer had been
said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the
first man,
solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To
which the man
replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you
please play
The Macarena for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the
warden. He turned to the other man and
asked, "Well, what about you,
son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned
man, "kill me first."
A sense of curiosity is nature's original school of education. Dr. Smiley Blanton
Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no s R. Buckminster Fuller
Grammar school never taught me anything about grammar. Isaac GoldbergLighting Rod Prevents Strikes
This rod prevents strikes by doing exactly the opposite of what they are usually known for.
Hologram Lady Will Greet You at the Airport
A weird customer service hologram is coming to New York City airports.
Pollutants Mucking With Food Production
Two manmade pollutants known best as threats to human health have just been charged with two more offenses: shifting rainfall patterns and mucking with food production.
Starships Fueled on Antimatter from Space?
Harvesting antimatter in space would completely bypass the difficulties of an Earth-bound particle accelerator.
Cement Yourself With Concrete Business Cards
Give your first impression a little more gravity by handing one of these babies out.