Cocktails 1 oz Midori® melon liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
2 oz club soda
1 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
Start
Life
Science
City
hello
Subcategories::
First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror
admiring
my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
Second girl:
No, it's imagination.
A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and
his Personal
Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a
beautiful young girl
who will want to know everything about
you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a
party?"
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
Home - A -
Age Jokes
"That's an
excellent essay for someone your age," said the English
teacher.
"How about for someone my Mum's age, Miss?"
"Welcome to
school, Simon," said the nursery school teacher to the
new boy.
"How old are you?" "I'm not old," said Simon. "I'm nearly
new."
Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school
magazine.
"How old are you, ma'am?" asked Fred.
"I'm not going
to tell you that," she replied.
"But Mr Hill the technical teacher
and Mr Hill the geography teacher
told me how old they were."
"Oh well," said Miss Jones. "I'm the same age as both of them."
The
poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote:
Miss
Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as
the
Hills.
"Now remember, boys and girls," said the science
teacher, "you can
tell a tree's age by counting the rings in
a cross section. One ring
for each year."
Fred went home for
tea and found a chocolate roll on the table.
"I'm not eating that,
Mum!" she said. "It's five years old."
Grandma:
You've left all your crusts, Fred. When I was your age I ate
every one.
Fred: Do you still like crusts, Grandma?
Grandma: Yes, I do.
Fred: Well, you can have mine.
How old is your
wife?
Approaching forty.
From which direction?
An
eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was
correct
that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday.
`That's
right,' said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I
haven't an
enemy in the world. They're all dead.'
`Well, sir,' said the
interviewer, `I hope very much to have the
honour of interviewing
you on your hundredth birthday.'
The old man looked at the young
man closely, and said, `I can't see
why you shouldn't. You
look fit and healthy to me!'
I think the primary function of radio is that people want company. Elise Nordling
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson
If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. Matt GroeningPollutants Mucking With Food Production
Two manmade pollutants known best as threats to human health have just been charged with two more offenses: shifting rainfall patterns and mucking with food production.
Space Harvesting of Antimatter Might Fuel Starships
Harvesting antimatter in space would completely bypass the obstacle of low efficiency when a particle accelerator is used to produce antimatter.
Cement Yourself With Concrete Business Cards
Give your first impression a little more gravity by handing one of these babies out.
The 'Demise of Guys' Likely Real: DNews Nuggets
Are the world's men being destroyed by online pornography and video games?
When Aliens Attack: Gotta-See Videos
If aliens attacked which would it be, David and Goliath or something far worse?