Punches 1 oz Jamaican dark rum
1 oz brandy
1 oz madeira
1 whole egg
1 tsp powdered sugar
3/4 cup milk
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One day an Englishman, an
American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to
each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy
their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly
out of his drink and started shaking it
over the pint, yelling...
"SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
Little Tim
was in the garden filling in a hole
when his neighbor peered over the
fence. Interested in what the
cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he
politely asked, "Whatcha doing,
Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking
up.
"And I've just buried him."
The neighbor was
concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a
goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because
he's inside your cat."
Doctor, Doctor I think I need
glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
A friend told me that each morning when we get up we have to decide whether we are going to save or savor the world. I don't think that is the decision. It's not an either-or, save or savor. We have to do both, save and savor the world. Kate Clinton
A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off? Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider
A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books. Walt WhitmanCement Yourself With Concrete Business Cards
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