Cocktails 120 ml vodka
20 ml gin
60 ml Champagne
50 ml soda water
25 ml orange juice (with pulp)
20 ml lemon juice
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One day an Englishman, an
American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to
each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy
their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly
out of his drink and started shaking it
over the pint, yelling...
"SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
Little Tim
was in the garden filling in a hole
when his neighbor peered over the
fence. Interested in what the
cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he
politely asked, "Whatcha doing,
Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking
up.
"And I've just buried him."
The neighbor was
concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a
goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because
he's inside your cat."
Doctor, Doctor I think I need
glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
A sweet thing, for whatever time,
to revisit in dreams the dear dad we have lost. Euripides
An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person. Joseph Addison
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him. John BarrymoreCement Yourself With Concrete Business Cards
Give your first impression a little more gravity by handing one of these babies out.
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