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1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1 oz grenadine syrup
1 1/2 oz Skyy® cosmopolitan mix
1/2 oz triple sec
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A mother was reading a book about animals to
her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child:
"Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother:
"Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed
little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice
replied, "Bud."
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with
a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the
counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well,
my pet
chicken, of course!" "I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We
can't
allow animals in the cinema." The man goes around the corner
and stuffs
the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window,
buys his
ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts
to get hot and
begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so
the chicken can stick
it's head out and watch the film. Seated
next to him is a woman. She
looks over at his lap and is horrified.
She elbows her friend Agnes and
whispers, "Agnes, this man over here
has just unzipped his trousers!"
Agnes whispers back, "Oh, don't
worry about it...you've seen one,
you've seen them all." Madge
says, "I KNOW...but this one's eating my
POPCORN!!"
There was a farmer who
had a lot of live
stock. He had cows, horses, chickens, pigs, and bulls.
One day a
terrible twister came and the man and his family were only
saved by
throwing themselves in the nearest ditch. After it was all over,
he
looked up to see that the house was gone. Saddened by the loss, he
went out to see if any of the animals had survived. The horses,
chickens, pigs, and cows were laid out flat but the bulls were standing! The
farmer was amazed and asked them, "How is it that all the other
animals
are down and you are still standing?" The bulls replied, "We
bulls
wobble but we don't fall down!"
Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath. Dave Barry
I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris. Paris Hilton
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language. Mark TwainWill You See Today's Annular Solar Eclipse?
Just in case you haven't heard, an annular eclipse will dazzle the Pacific Ocean on Sunday.
Troubled Freighter Drifts Toward Great Barrier Reef
A broken-down cargo ship was drifting towards Australia's Great Barrier Reef Saturday, with fears of major damage if it were to run aground at the World Heritage-listed site.
Tyrannosaur Skeleton For Sale, But Ownership Is Questioned
Mongolia is raising concerns that a rare Tyrannosaur specimen now on auction in New York City may have left the country illegally.
Tiny Deep-Sea Life Eats Dinosaur-Era Meals
Deep ocean microorganisms are subsisting on nutrients first laid down when dinosaurs still walked the Earth.
SpaceX Launch Cut Off At Last Second
It's 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning and there’s just been what is truly a heart-stopping moment in the launch business -- a last-second launch abort.