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A mother was reading a book about animals to
her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child:
"Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother:
"Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed
little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice
replied, "Bud."
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with
a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the
counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well,
my pet
chicken, of course!" "I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We
can't
allow animals in the cinema." The man goes around the corner
and stuffs
the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window,
buys his
ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts
to get hot and
begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so
the chicken can stick
it's head out and watch the film. Seated
next to him is a woman. She
looks over at his lap and is horrified.
She elbows her friend Agnes and
whispers, "Agnes, this man over here
has just unzipped his trousers!"
Agnes whispers back, "Oh, don't
worry about it...you've seen one,
you've seen them all." Madge
says, "I KNOW...but this one's eating my
POPCORN!!"
There was a farmer who
had a lot of live
stock. He had cows, horses, chickens, pigs, and bulls.
One day a
terrible twister came and the man and his family were only
saved by
throwing themselves in the nearest ditch. After it was all over,
he
looked up to see that the house was gone. Saddened by the loss, he
went out to see if any of the animals had survived. The horses,
chickens, pigs, and cows were laid out flat but the bulls were standing! The
farmer was amazed and asked them, "How is it that all the other
animals
are down and you are still standing?" The bulls replied, "We
bulls
wobble but we don't fall down!"Pre-Columbian Star War Stories Emerge From Stones
The carvings show symbols of death and crude representations in line with the Aztecs' bloody rituals.
New Bat Has Odd-Shaped Nose
Is that the head of an owl you see on the nose of this new bat species or an elaborate shield?
Should We Keep Punishing Chris Brown?
Or is the criticism doing more harm than good?
Blood Predicts Everlasting Love?: DNews Nuggets
Larger amounts of a certain hormone in the blood suggest a long-lasting relationship.
Camp Stove Charges Your Phone, Cooks Your Goose
BioLite stoves make cooking on wood clean and safe, while generating electricity.